For the times in between

After spending the end of this morning farewelling a friend off on a 4 month sports trip, and almost 3 hours fighting traffic and the vagaries of knowing exactly what you want, but it being something that apparently no-one else does. Or at least no-one else on a budget (I refuse to pay three times as much just cause a name is stitched on. Whatever happened to value being on the inside and not on the label).

Anyway. I'm home now with three major realisations.

1. I miss travelling. Change of place is fun. Expensive but fun. Go on, throw quotes at me.

2. I'm too much of a "now" person. This leads to being depressed when you know there is something you want or need but you can't find it, or when you find it can't have it yet (if at all).

3. I want someone for the times in between. Hence the mood. I find I'm fine in a group (for a while anyway, at the moment couples being couply can be happy making (I'm glad for them) or sad making (why not me) in about equal quanitities). But I want someone to be companionably there for the times in between. To be interested in what's just happened or whats about to. To say good morning as you're waking and good night as you head off to sleep. To hear about the little things of your day and share little things about their's.

Melancholy sliding into depression. I hate depression which is a tidy little spiral I find every few years. And a fight I know I can win, just sometimes the trenches get a bit muddy and the victory takes time.

I hope the parties tonight help.